You walk out the spanking new train station smack into a tram line so shiny it looks like a Christmas present. It´s a sunny day and you can see spires so you start walking towards them, this is your first mistake.

But first coffee and some re-confirmation. You walk across the sparklingly new mall, into the coffee place and ask the tall fella behind the counter for a macchiato (it´s an Italian chain, but still you´re asking for an, an Italian coffee in English to a German and there´s not a flicker of doubt, you have to love that.)

Of course says the very tall fella.

Which way is the old town?

A suddenly there is doubt. Excuse?

You try again, The Elba? The center of town?

Which tram stop is that? He asks.

Walking. You say.

He reaches behind the counter for a map.There´s a lot of this in Germany—the sudden folding and unfolding of maps. This embarrassed you at first, but compared to the Czech habit of shrugging and telling you to piss off you prefer the the maps.

The tall fella has regained his confidence, it´s tram number 7 or 8. Right in front of the train station, Good day.

You dutifully follow his directions back across the shiny mall into a new and waiting tram and promptly go in the wrong direction; its entirely ýour fault, you asked the wrong question again.

To a woman, Does this train go to the center?

Oh yeah!

You find the enthusiam an excellent sign. But after a stop youasked again,

The center of town? The old town?

Oh no! She says equally enthusiatically to The World Trade Center

No problem really, you hop off the tram, go across the tracks and wait less than two minutes. It takes exactly fifteen minutes to pass the rebuilt historic center (lovely, really), the Elba, and deposit you safely in what is not the center, but the old part of town, which is now the gay quarter, how clever of them, so well prepared.

You may never leave.