"Visits With My Father-in-Law"
by
Alan Girling

His younger daughter—my girlfriend then—arrived home to Nakatsu for the three-day New Years celebration, known in Japan as Shogatsu. She'd been away in Tokyo more than a year, closer to two. Mother, elder sister, her husband and elder brother were gathered around the kotatsu, a low, sunken table draped with a futon, electrically heated underneath. Bowls of rice and miso, sliced sashimi, assortments of pickles and meats, tall bottles of beer—all crowded before me, threatening the table's edge. Mother, sister, husband, brother, my girlfriend and I—conversed, they in faltering English, me in worse Japanese. Her father was there, too, hunched and craning forward, clicking chopsticks, chewing, his large, yellow teeth askew in a slack jaw. He sat outside the kotatsu on the straw tatami floor, cross-legged, dressed in a loose undershirt and baggy, white pajama-like pants to just below the knee. His prominent cheekbones jutted allusively so that I could readily see the origin of his daughter's beauty. While my girlfriend and I played footsie under the kotatsu, the family carried on. I noticed he never acknowledged her arrival, or my intrusion. It could be I’d missed something.

Hiromi-papa, as the family calls him, once taught high school math. Retired now, he spends his days stretched out on the aging tatami, turning the rice-paper pages of slim novels. Or else he disappears into the carnival-jingle blare and bright neon of a pachinko palace to try his luck. Our holiday visit occasioned no interruption to his routine as we explored malls, worshipped at temples, dined at fine eateries or sought the sulphur-soak of nearby hot-springs.

"Hiromi-papa no sekai," they say. Hiromi-papa's world. The phrase brings a chuckle to each family member. They know his predilections. Mother, a painter and sculptor of cats and kimonos, as well as local coffee house proprietor, shakes her head and smiles—a bemused tolerance tinged with embarrassment. At the end of a day, he arrives at the coffee house to do the cash in silence. Then they call him "Hiromi-papa, enumerator," and chuckle some more.

His world, not theirs. The family's name is Shimura; it is the mother's family name, the name adopted by Hiromi-papa at marriage. There were brothers in his family—none, unfortunately, in hers. The Shimura name had to survive, so Hiromi-papa kindly helped out.

Shogatsu came to an end and the family gathered at the train station to wish us good-bye. As we waved one last time from beyond the turnstiles, I had to wonder at the absence of Hiromi-papa.

*****

His younger daughter—my fiancee—arrived home to Nakatsu for the summer O-Bon festival, a yearly interval of ancestor worship. The family was busy preparing to visit the Shimura monument at a local cemetery. Incense in boxes, lilies and chrysanthemums were all laid out.

"The car is too small for all of us. He can go by bike," mother said. "We'll take the flowers."

We waited in the car while in front of us Hiromi-papa straddled his bicycle, fiddling with the flap on a box of incense. He reached into his jacket for a lighter. Then, withdrawing a large bundle of sticks from the box, he flicked the lighter and passed the flame back and forth through the tips, getting full coverage.

"Do it there, father!" his elder daughter shouted from the car window.

His answer, a spurt of mumbling fading into silence, told us his strategy was the better one. With one foot up on a pedal, one hand gripping the handlebars, the other holding the smoking incense sticks, he pushed off.

We followed close behind through the maze of single lane streets—brick walls, power poles and house entrances flush with the curbs. Hiromi-papa held the incense bundle aloft like a smoke-spewing torch. He wobbled slightly, then more widely, which put me in mind of Japanese housewives performing the traditional O-Bon dance, their successive half-twirls, their rhythmic grace.

At one point, he disappeared around a bend. Ahead at the corner was a large, convex safety mirror designed to warn of oncoming vehicles. In the reflection, a distorted and weaving Hiromi-papa appeared, then a sudden flash of light burst above his head. Stray sunbeam, I thought, but as we came around, there was his bundle of incense flaring up in orange and blue.

He waved it about frantically, then snapped it down with his wrist like a ballpoint pen gone dry. Now he was dangerously veering from curb to curb. Mother emitted a small shriek while the others began tittering. The flames grew larger and burned down fast, brushing his hand so he was forced to wing the bundle violently away. The small sticks scattered, diffusing the flame. Tiny explosions of smoke and ash dotted the pavement. My initial fear for him subsided as the whole family shared their amusement. With both hands now in firm control, Hiromi-papa rode bravely on.

Still laughing, we arrived at the temple minutes later and found a shop across the street that sold incense. The stones and monuments in this cemetery—packed tightly between the temple and a noodle shop—range from mere slabs to virtual mausoleums. The Shimura family's is something in the middle, a tapering stack of polished, grey granite blocks about five feet high engraved elaborately in Chinese characters. I watched each family member take a part in the cleansing rite: decanting small buckets of water over the stones, laying the flowers, and—Hiromi-papa's role—planting the incense in holders at the base and lighting them one by one. Their cherry-maple pungency stayed with me long after he got back onto the saddle of his bicycle and rode away.

*****

His younger daughter—now my wife—arrived home to Nakatsu for her elder brother's wedding. It started with the traditional ceremony in a Shinto shrine conveniently located on the second floor of a prominent local hotel. As a spouse, I was allowed entrance, and once the new couple had performed the rites, I joined the Shimura side in a line facing the bride's family. From Hiromi-papa, mother, elder son, elder daughter, younger son, daughter, to me at the end—it was the form of traditional patriarchy. I politely participated in the inspection, trying to appear as grave and gracious as the others. Hiromi-papa introduced me with his younger daughter as "Mr. and Mrs. Alan," leaving off my family name. I could only smile and wait for the reception to begin.

It was a two hundred person, sit-down dinner, with costume changes, light show, towering, sparkling cake and karaoke interlude. I was called upon to sing the only English song available, Yesterday, which seemed to give the guests much pleasure. At least, no one remarked on the unsuitability of its message.

His daughter and I made a cash offering commensurate with the closeness of our relationship with the groom, and received in return a bag of gifts—tea, rice-crackers, pottery. She said, "Father told me how very thankful he was we didn't have a Japanese-style wedding like this one, because then he'd be bankrupt!"

That night a virulent illness overran my body and I thought about each item I’d eaten: two different soups, each containing seaweed and unknown ocean food, a salad, sushi of all varieties, a prime rib platter, the cake—all varieties of beer, sake, whiskey-waters. Now I couldn't lift my head without a throb in my neck reaching down to meet the rise of nausea in my belly. My futon soaked up the sticky sweat, and crawling across the floor to the bathroom was a frequent ordeal. I knew I'd miss the hot-spring excursion the family had planned.

The next day, prone upon the tatami, I groaned and flipped rice-paper pages to Japanese novels I'd never be able to read. "I am become Hiromi-papa," I mused, but where he was I could only surmise. Pachinko was likely, until early in the afternoon I heard the rattle of the shoji doors sliding open, and saw him enter on his knees holding a yellow-stained, patterned box in his two hands. Dressed in his undershirt and white, cotton bottoms, he slid closer and carefully placed the box in front of me. He looked down at it a moment as though waiting, or preparing, for something. I felt a pang as I realized that, in the nearly two years since we'd first encountered each other, I hadn’t once spoken directly to him, nor him to me.

"What have you got there, father?" I asked.

"Photographs," he said without looking up. "From when Kano-chan was a young girl."

He lifted the lid, took hold of a small stack from the many, and one by one without a word revealed to me something I might never have had the good fortune to see: a history in pictures of the woman—and family—I married.